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How to get money to leave an abusive relationship

Posted on 7 October 2024

Written by Gillian Goldblatt

Leaving an abusive relationship can feel incredibly overwhelming, especially when financial insecurity is involved. Financial dependence is often a major obstacle for those trying to escape, making it difficult to imagine a safe and stable future. Rest assured, however – there are numerous resources and strategies across Canada to help you secure the funds needed to leave an abusive relationship. Taking control of your financial situation is an important step toward freedom and safety. Below are practical ways to access financial support. In this article, we share how to get money to leave an abusive relationship.

How to get money to leave an abusive relationship

Here are some of the recommended steps to getting funds together to help you be better prepared for leaving an abusive relationship.

Reach out to local support services

When it comes to being in any kind of abusive relationship, the most important thing is the safety of you and your family, no matter your gender. Thankfully, many organizations in Canada offer financial assistance to those escaping abusive relationships. These organizations include shelters and transition houses which often provide financial aid, access to emergency funds, or direct assistance with living expenses. They can specifically help you should you need somewhere to go while facing abuse. YWCA Canada and Women’s Shelters Canada offer financial support and counselling services, providing guidance on accessing government programs and managing finances. These organizations can connect you to services like food vouchers, transportation help, and even emergency shelter.

Create a secret fund

If possible, start setting aside small amounts of money over time to help you build a fund to leave your relationship. You can:

  • Open a new, secret bank account at a different financial institution.
  • Ask a trusted friend or family member to hold onto cash or valuable items that can be sold later.
  • Look into prepaid debit cards or mobile payment apps that don’t leave a paper trail.

Access Emergency Financial Assistance programs

In Canada, there are several programs designed to help those in need, especially in emergency situations:

  • Ontario Works or Employment Insurance (EI) offers immediate financial assistance for those who qualify. Reach out to local social services to inquire about emergency benefits for those in domestic violence situations.
  • Provincial and Territorial Emergency Assistance: programs vary by region but can offer help with rent, food, and transportation costs.
  • Canada Child Benefit (CCB): if you have children, the CCB can provide financial support, even retroactively, which can be critical during a transition out of an abusive environment.
  • Escape Abuse Fund: if you’re based in Alberta, emergency funding is available to help people who are escaping family violence or domestic violence.

Consider legal options for financial security

Legal action can sometimes provide financial relief, including:

  • Spousal or child support: if you have children, you may be entitled to child support. Courts can enforce spousal support in cases where financial abuse has occurred.
  • Protection Orders: in some cases, protection orders may include financial provisions that allow you access to shared financial resources, including joint bank accounts.

A family law lawyer or legal aid service can guide you through this process and help you explore your rights.

Use credit carefully

If you have access to a credit card, it can be a temporary solution, but it’s essential to use credit carefully:

  • Look for low-interest credit cards.
  • Avoid payday loans, as their high interest rates can put you into deeper debt.
  • If you’re considering using credit, create a plan to pay it back once you’re financially stable.

Find work or increase income

If you’re not currently working, or your current income isn’t enough, explore opportunities to increase your income:

  • Remote or part-time work can provide additional financial stability. There are many online platforms where you can work as a freelancer or find flexible employment.
  • Job training programs: organizations that help victims of domestic abuse may offer job training programs to help you transition into the workforce.

Seek help from family and friends where possible

Although this can feel daunting, friends and family are often willing to help. Reach out to those you trust, and consider asking for financial assistance in the form of:

  • Temporary loans
  • Help covering rent or housing costs
  • Transportation funds for getting to a safe location

Crowdfunding and donations

Crowdfunding through platforms like GoFundMe or social media may help you raise money. Many people are willing to support those escaping dangerous situations. While this option requires careful consideration due to potential privacy concerns, it can be an effective way to quickly access funds when you need them most.

Financial counselling

If you’re struggling with debt or financial stress related to leaving an abusive relationship, the support of a trusted Licensed Insolvency Trustee at Spergel can help you to explore your debt relief options and develop a plan for financial stability. At Spergel, the ‘get rid of debt’ people, our mission has been to treat every individual with compassion and confidentiality since our inception so that you know you can speak to us in trust. From consumer proposals to bankruptcy, debt counselling can provide the tools you need to regain control over your finances.

How to get money to leave an abusive relationship: FAQs

Here are some of the most commonly asked questions we receive about how to get money to leave an abusive relationship:

How can I get my abusive partner to leave?

If you’re trying to get an abusive partner to leave, there are several legal and practical steps you can take to ensure your safety. You may be able to obtain a restraining order or exclusive possession of your home through the courts, which can legally require your partner to leave. Contacting the police is crucial if you are in immediate danger or if your partner refuses to leave after being asked. Domestic violence organizations offer resources like emergency shelter, legal assistance, and financial support. It’s also important to develop a safety plan and explore financial options to regain independence. At Spergel, we provide debt solutions to help individuals overcome financial abuse and rebuild their lives.

How do you get money to leave a toxic relationship?

Leaving a toxic relationship, especially when finances are a barrier, requires careful planning and access to resources. Start by setting aside any money you can, even in small amounts, and consider opening a secret bank account if it’s safe. Local domestic violence organizations can provide financial support, including access to emergency funds, shelter, and food. You may also qualify for government assistance like Employment Insurance (EI) or provincial emergency benefits. Legal options such as child or spousal support can help, and seeking advice from a family lawyer can clarify your rights. At Spergel, we offer debt relief solutions to help individuals gain financial independence and move forward.

What is the fleeing fund for domestic abuse?

A fleeing fund for domestic abuse is a financial resource designed to help individuals escape abusive situations by providing emergency money for essentials like transportation, shelter, food, and other immediate needs. These funds can come from domestic violence organizations, charities, or community groups, and are meant to remove financial barriers that prevent victims from leaving abusive relationships. In Canada, many shelters and support services offer fleeing funds to help individuals safely transition to a new, secure environment. These funds are critical for covering immediate expenses when fleeing isn’t otherwise financially feasible.

What is the compensation for emotional abuse?

Compensation for emotional abuse can be sought through civil legal action, where victims may be awarded damages for the psychological harm and suffering caused by the abuse. These damages can include compensation for pain and suffering, medical or therapy expenses, lost wages due to emotional distress, and, in some cases, punitive damages against the abuser. In family law cases, emotional abuse may also be considered in custody and divorce proceedings, potentially impacting financial settlements or spousal support. The amount and availability of compensation depend on the specific circumstances of the case and the jurisdiction’s laws. Consulting a lawyer is essential for understanding your rights and options.

Leaving an abusive relationship is an act of courage. Securing your financial freedom is a critical part of this journey. Remember that help is available, and you don’t have to navigate this process alone. At Spergel, we’re here to provide guidance and support with financial resources and debt solutions to help you move forward. If you need help managing your finances or finding debt relief, book a free no-obligation consultation with Spergel today. For immediate help, contact a domestic violence helpline or local shelter. You are not alone, and there are people ready to assist you every step of the way.

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Gillian Goldblatt

Gillian Goldblatt

Gillian Goldblatt is a Chartered Professional Accountant and Insolvency and Restructuring Professional. She is also an award-winning LIT (Licensed Insolvency Trustee) and Vice-Chair of the Ontario Association of Insolvency & Restructuring Practitioners Board. As Spergel's resident expert on debt consolidation and financial literacy, you can find Gillian being interviewed regularly on popular Canadian news programs when she's not at the office helping individuals and businesses get back on track.

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